Why does everyone hate Big Brother?

Since Chanelle left the house a few weeks ago, something has been missing, although I can’t quite put my finger on what it is. It can’t be the incessant moaning, the bitching in the diary room, the unpredictable mood swings or even the pouting sulk. It’s not even the on-off drama of her and Ziggy’s relationship. Hell knows, all of the above boxes are now ticked by Carole. However, there’s definitely something, and Big Brother has noticed it to.

Last week, under the pretence of a shopping task, housemates were given extensive training on “How to be Posh.”

The task didn’t sit well with some housemates from the offset. Tracey was particularly upset by the whole thing. As soon as the music on the task’s instructional VT started playing, a quaint classical piece designed to back the visual sight of what may or may not have been Ziggy’s mother offering etiquette advice, Tracey exclaimed, “This music is so monotonous man.” This was not all she had to say, however. Later, when Big Brother piped in some light jazz number to practice dancing to, she complained, “How are people supposed to dance to this?” This from the woman who spends her time outside the house listening to techno music.

The idea of speaking Standard English using Received Pronunciation also upset Tracey, clearly clashing with her raver ideals. To put shackles on her language was tantamount to putting shackles on her thoughts, her very essence of being. The whole thing was an prognostic of Britain’s growing class war, a war she, as a free spirit, would not enter into. We also can’t ignore the fact that generic 80’s catchphrases just don’t have the same ring to them when fully enunciated, and Tracey was damned if she was going to start forming proper sentences containing genuine thoughts, meanings or content.

Davina touched on this issue in Tracey’s interview after her eviction on Friday. Clearly Davina had been watching Tracey throughout the series with a great deal of interest and intrigue, and had been very much looking forward to her interview so that she could really probe Tracey, understand what really made her tick and the like.

“Now forgive me if I’m wrong Tracey, but I’ve been watching you a lot, and I’m just wondering why you keep coming back to these catchphrases of yours. Now we did all love them and enjoy them, but a part of me wonders why you used them so often? I may be wrong, but is your constant retreat to these some sort of defence mechanism? Maybe you don’t want to let people in, let people see the real you? Maybe you were abused as a child, I don’t know.

I’m just speculating here, but it seems that deep down you’re really insecure, and these phrases are part of an elaborately constructed shield you hold up to prevent any possible chance of rejection of your true self, of the true Tracey? I mean, sorry if that seems… but, does that in any way make sense.”

“Yeah man, Gravy”

No tears, no confessions, no hint at an upcoming period of intensive soul searching. Nothing. Poor Davina, such a question was wasted on Tracey. At least she got the tone right with Kara Louise, the other evictee. The interview basically consisted of a simple shrug aimed in Kara Louise’s general direction, a gesture correctly gauging the level of interest the public had in Kara-Louise’s post experience analysis.

Despite the loss of the literal beacon of Big Brother’s multi-cultural ethos (“New, to the acceptance range, Kara Louise! One person, two skin tones!”), as well as the failed attempt at finding the female Pete “BB7” Bennet, the house is still very much crowded at this late stage of the game.

There are seven people left, surely too many to leave until the final night? I suggest a truly random eviction. Big Brother should ask one housemate to come to the diary room, with whoever answering the call being unceremoniously shown out of the back door. Actually, this would have been good throughout the show. It would be a type of natural selection, wheedling out the biggest attention seekers and screen time seekers.

Either that, or Liam et al should continue Thursday night’s theme of haggling with Big Brother.

“We’ll make you a deal. A takeaway pizza in exchange for…hmmm… Carole.”

Please.

Gerry down, Carole to go.

After a day of strolling around in what can only be described as the wardrobe equivalent of Kara’s forehead, Gerry was voted out by the public and his fellow guru housemates. Only he wasn’t. Well, not really. Not technically.

When guru’s were told to get rid of one of the two most voted housemates that week, Carole or Gerry, the Greek art historian quickly calculated the best way to save face in what would inevitably be his final moments in the house. He blubbered, “Keep Carole, I want Carole to win,” or various other permutations of this sentiment, in order to make the choice easier for the gurus. However, as Gerry was going to have been nominated by all 3 gurus anyway, it was more a case of “You can’t fire me, I quit,” than a selfless act. His raised arm acknowledgement to Tracey’s vote against him, gestured almost as a thank you to her for heeding his request, was the embodiment of this pathetic ploy by Gerry. Tracey would have voted him out even if it had it been him against someone truly detestable, like Carole. Oh, hold on. What I’m trying to say is that she hated him and would have voted him out anyway.

The reaction from the crowd was surprisingly positive towards Gerry, especially considering he has after all been a total arse.

Upon hearing his positive public reception, housemates burst into their own cheers, running round and hugging each other. “Yes! The lying shit’s gone forever,” Tracey could be heard saying over the rabble, somewhat missing the point of the celebrations.

Actually, I made that up, but it would have been good.

It is weird that when an unpopular housemate is evicted there is booing in the crowd. Surely they should be happy to be seeing the end of them? By booing they are almost mourning the loss of such a housemate. I can only assume this is the logic Charley employed when she came to the conclusion that she wasn’t one of the most hated housemates ever.

Amanda told Brian today that she sees him purely as a good friend, and doesn’t want any romance. As evident as this was to anyone with the slightest hint of social perspicacity, and Tracey, Amanda still bungled her way through the conversation as though it was going to be a taboo, awkward and unexpected confession. “It’s just that, like, I went to the Diary Room, and I was like, y’know, oh gawd this is soooo cringe! But like you’re a dead dead dead dead good mate, and we get on really well, and well, what I was like in the diary room, was like...”

Probably the last time she’ll go to Ziggy for relationship advice.

With a tweak here and a manipulation there, Big Brother has got things back to where they want them. Once again, we have conflict. All it took was a lie detector test. Oh, and starvation.

Carole has been at the centre of all things argumentative these past two days. She is living in some medieval fantasy where hierarchy comes from age. By having lived the longest of the housemates, she knows best. About everything.

Most arguments occur when housemates get annoyed with her authoritarian control of the kitchen, house, and indeed their thoughts and actions. For someone who strongly opposes fascism, she’s remarkably dictatorial. Just watching her squirm as Kara tried to whisk an egg was beautiful. Her hands kept raising up to snatch at the whisk, just ready to scream:

“No no! You do it like this you silly girl. Look how good I do it. Look how effective I am at all things domestic. Nurse on my ridiculous bosom. No, no, there’s no need to apologise Kara. Or cry. Come on, breathe deeply, just breathe, come on, no, it’ll all be over soon, just breathe. Seriously Kara, just take some fucking air in, what’s wrong with you?!”

Sorry, again I’m straying. In the lie detector test it was confirmed that Carole liked acting as the mother of the house, as if we didn’t know that already from her self satisfied announcements of exactly what housework she’s achieved every 15 minutes.

If this is the case, if she does enjoy it, why does she constantly grumble about having to do everything herself? Why does she moan about other housemates’ lack of help? Why does she consider Ziggy’s reluctance to clean the windows an indication of Britain’s growing decline into anarchy and barbarianism? She enjoys doing it all, so it tends to get left to her. If other housemates attempt to help she either meddles to the point of their frustration or indeed just takes over.

Let’s just get her out, watch some whimsical compilation of all her amusingly quirky cleaning habits, and be done with it.

Another thing about Carole, which has been picked up on before; she thinks she knows everything. She thinks she can predict Big Brother down to a tee. To be fair, this delusion was probably reinforced as the weeks have gone by, as housemates have displayed awe at her correct predictions. “Wow, Carole always said Pooh was a fake housemate,” Charley, another streetwise thinker would say. Carole would respond to this praise with a wave of the hand and a wry chuckle; such clairvoyance is all part of a days work to her, and the sooner those kids understood exactly how wise, sharp and world-weary she was the better.

However, what we are ignoring is the fact that Carole makes predictions about anything and everything, with probably a 5% success rate. Just yesterday, when Gerry confirmed he had a game plan in the Diary Room, she said “Oh I know what he’s doing, he’s… oh.” Her canny assumption (I guess she was expecting Gerry to have purposefully manipulated his answer to be a lie) was cut short when it transpired he was being truthful. This is one example of many.

Today she predicted she would be leaving on Friday. Let’s hope with this prediction, she’s right.

The mind body and soul task continues, with housemates aiming to improve themselves in these areas in order to win the group a luxury shopping budget, and to win themselves as individuals the chance of immunity from evictions. Ironically, it is only by leaving the Big Brother house that housemates will truly start to improve their mind, body and soul.

I don’t actually mean that, I just thought it’d make me sound sardonic and satirical; because of course looking down on Big Brother is what truly intelligent people do.

Once again Gerry stood out the most for me tonight. He is just so frustratingly annoying. He once again turned self-analytical today, reducing himself to tears as he really got to the root of all his problems. Apparently he just keeps pushing himself too hard in life, to exhausting and unsustainable levels. “One degree wasn’t enough, so I had to get two.”

Two thousand men wasn’t enough, he had to get three.

But seriously Gerry, get over yourself. You’re part of a growing epidemic of people who’ve grown up being told to value their inner feelings, and to really get to the bottom of what defines them as a person. And of people who’ve watched too much Oprah.

All this psycho-analytical bullshit is not constructive. At best it’s self indulgent, and at worst it’s lazy and a way of finding excuses for yourself. “Oh, I know I flew off the handle there, and it was out of order, but it’s because I’ve realised I have some deep seated anger issues.” By making everything about ourselves seemingly so complex and deep, we are assigning the blame for our unacceptable behaviours to something out of our control, when it actually is controllable – if we want it to be. To let yourself get angry and then to put it down to a fundamental part of your character, or the fact that you weren’t allowed chocolate more than once a week as a kid - it's selfish and idle. And to call this insight in others the mark of a sensitive, perceptive and intelligent soul – please. It’s armchair psychology for the pseudo-intellect

Sorry, I’m straying from the point, this isn’t the time or place for me to be preaching the fundamentals of my new religion (seemingly based largely on denying people the rights to emotions). In Big Brother we still trust.

In other news, the political activist in Carole kicked in today when she refused to go to the Diary Room when called. “Piss off,” we saw her prone, beached figure yell from bed. “You can show this as well, fuck off.” How George Bush stood up to the likes of Carole and went ahead with the war amazes me. It can’t have been anything to do with Carole’s lack of concisely formed arguments, for we saw today that she can put her point across in a reasonable and balanced manner. It also isn't likely to be the fact that any form of vitriolic display promptly reduces her to tears either, as she is a strong and canny woman don't you know.

I can only assume that it's because she has trouble walking when her feet are playing up.

Today housemates were given the (some might say) paradoxical task of having to complete IQ tests.

Gerry of course looked upon this whole challenge the most eagerly, again keen to prove to everyone that his is indeed the most intelligent housemate ever. I feel for Gerry sometimes. He is smug, arrogant and pretentious, but people have realised this. Liam, Brian and Ziggy all invariably like mocking his delusions of grandeur; and today Brian claimed early on in the show that Big Brother had told him that he had come top in the tests.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, well done, I’m glad,” Gerry said, in a style imitable of a housemate who has just been evicted. To confirm this feeling of fine-ness, Gerry pointed out that he had previously said Brian was cleverer than he is often perceived anyway. “I said last week he is very intelligent otherwise he wouldn’t be here.” Now Gerry, I may be wrong, but I don’t ever remember a time when intelligence has ever been a pre-requisite for entry into the Big Brother house.

Of course Gerry, psycho-analyst and philosopher Gerry, probably meant that to get on Big Brother you had to have certain unique qualities which constitute intelligence. In theory I agree, and I respect Gerry for not conforming to traditional notions of academia equalling intelligence. However, by subscribing to the “we are unique souls chosen for our special characters and personalities,” he is ignoring the fact that Big Brother has, in recent years, become nothing more than a freak show. It is not a talent show spotting individuals who have something special and interesting to give to the public. It is a mix of stereotypes and, well, freaks.

This is the problem with Big Brother. The makers assume we all want more. More sex! More fights! More romances! More dramas! Is this really the case though?. Sure, the Charleys and Shanessas will get people talking, but they won’t keep people switched on. We need sympathetic characters, such as Glynn or Pete from BB7. People who you tune in to see how they’re doing. Watching people like Charley is strangely compulsive, yet is not enough of a draw to keep people hooked. Look back to the earlier series for inspiration, where you did not have to rely on mentally unstable individuals and fancy dress tasks everyday. Restore some normality to proceedings, keep things simple, learn from the past.

Now, what did they do with that time machine?

I really can’t decide whether I love or hate Big Brother’s psychology show, “On The Couch.” I do like the idea of the housemates being analysed psychologically, and for us to gain insights about the human psyché through what was originally a TV show designed to be a social experiment. However, when I watch it, I’m always slightly let down by the revelations the resident psychologists give us, or the areas they seem to analyse. Last week there was an in depth discussion about how watching how housemates eat their food can tell you what sort of lovers they’ll be. Short of leaving me with the paranoid compulsion of now having to talk gently to my food when in female company (“I very much care how you enjoy this process too chocolate bar, because that’s what sort of guy I am”) I didn’t feel I learnt anything. Still, it was entertainment. I guess my opinion of the show will remain like my opinion of marmite, I feel like I should have a strong feeling on it either way, but I’m just strangely ambivalent.

They did touch upon an interesting area tonight though, the relationship or non-relationship between Amanda and Brian. I’m of the opinion that Amanda is simply too nice to tell Brian that she doesn’t like him in the same way - I can just see the wedding now; “Oh it would just be awkward if I said anything after all this fuss!” The psychologist analysing the relationship did however spot several signs contradicting me. She pointed out that in Brian’s company, even post-kiss, Amanda was very happy. Personally I think that’s kind of a moot point, I don’t know if either of the twins actually experience moments of unhappiness. If she looked glum in Brian’s company he should be seriously worried.

Secondly, she was noting the eye contact that Amanda was making with Brian. She pointed out the fact that her pupils were dilated, which apparently is a clear indication of loving feelings. Or indeed the fact that you’re looking at something dark.

That’s terrible actually. Is that racist? Hopefully not, although it would probably be enough to get me thrown out of the BB house the way things are this year. Apologies if anyone’s offended.

Love, or more likely lust, was abundant in the house today. As Ziggy poetically put it, “People are gagging for it in here.”

Ziggy was in fact involved in the other romantic plotline of the night’ when a drunken Tracey clambered into his bed, telling him to snuggle up to her. Ziggy refused, claiming that after weeks of loneliness, such intimacy would likely cause him too much sexual excitement, which would be an embarrassing situation for all. Tracey pressed on however, and Ziggy confessed to the diary room the next morning that she was putting “hands and fingers places they haven’t been before.” Fingers? Hands is pretty self explanatory, but the mention of fingers raises a lot of questions. Poor Ziggy.

To cool the situation down, Ziggy’s solution was to drag Carole from the living area into his bed, in between the pair of them. I liked the idea of Carole as some sort of anti-eroticism shield, who could suck a situation of any sexual excitement. Cuddling up to Carole Ziggy could manage - 12 weeks of loneliness or not.

And she's gone. The lady who gives boobs a bad name; Amy's out.

If there was any ever doubt about the decision, she put rest to it by tonight demonstrating exactly the behaviour voters don't like to see. In the catwalk task, we saw housemates preparing outfits for them to model. Originally Amy was seen in what can best be described as a sack, admittedly quite an unflattering garment. Next time we saw her, and Gerry was taking the scissors to it, liberally cutting away fabric around the breast area. "Watch the nipples," she said as he snipped away, a message she was keen to promote in her actual performance as well. Her routine was ironically close to a strip show considering the performance was supposed to be about clothes. At least Brian enjoyed it.

Carole again found reason to grumble today. Voted by fellow housemates as most judgmental along with Brian, the pair retreated to the toilets to complain about this. They concluded that while they may well be more judgemental than fellow housemates, they were at least up front about it, unlike people like Amy, who were "covertly judgmental." I'm not sure what they meant by that, but I assume it doesn't cover clandestine bitchiness in the toilets.

Sam and Amanda are a growing force, and it was nice to see them chatting together in the diary room, Sam teasing her sister about Brian's flirtations. I think the twins should have more airtime devoted to them, particularly airtime not devoted to them simply repeating their catchphrases. A part of me suspects Big Brother is planning on bringing out a range of talking dolls after this year's final. There could be Samanda ("Dead good" "Love it" "Defo"), Tracey ("Ave it!" "Deal with it" "Sketchy man") and even Ziggy ("It's just that, well, ermmm, umm, sigh").

Amy's departure was pretty standard, I did wonder if under the pressure of all the boo-ing she might panic and whip her breasts out but she kept herself calm with some simple posing for the paparazzi. Oh well, I'm sure by Sunday these two activities will have been extensively combined.

Big Brother gave housemates free reign to talk about nominations today, due to yesterday’s time travel task in which this week’s three nominees viewed footage of their fellow housemates nominating.

Ziggy was the most excited by this, he has been telling people left right and centre who he nominated during his stay in the house. He told Nicky a few weeks ago, he told Gerry last night, and he alluded to having told Carole in tonight’s show. He also mentioned to Liam that he had nominated Tracey in the past. Why is he doing this? Is it to release him of guilt? Is it part of a straight-up, no bullshit attitude he wants to present? There’s being honest with people, and there’s being an idiot. If someone comes up to you and basically says, “Of all the people here you’re one of two who I most want to leave,” I’d be surprised if anyone was left thinking “Well he may hate me and everything I stand for, but what a truthful, honest gentleman. Such integrity!”

Obviously such discussions could be had openly today, but as I mentioned they did still happen before, against the rules. What puzzles me is the way in which housemates think they have gotten around the rule, thinking that by being covert and cryptic enough in conversations Big Brother won’t understand they were actually talking about nominations. Put it this way, if Chanelle can grasp what your hidden message is, then I doubt Big Brother will have many problems. It’s stretching my memory, but when Ziggy was letting Nicky know he was planning to vote for her, he went up to during nominations, acting like a KGB spy, whispering conspiratorially:

“Hey Nicky, can I have a word… we don’t get on, do we? Just thought I should let you know”
“Wha..?”

He was already walking away after saying that line, clearly hoping for some equally cryptic yet succinct reply showing understanding. Maybe something like, “Yes, the weather is hot in Sweden but cold in Yorkshire.” Alas Nicky was not quite on Ziggy’s wavelength, and it ended up a bungled and embarrassing conversation.

“I’m just saying, you’re one of the ones I least like in here”
”OKaaayyyyy”
”So you know… good. I’m just letting you know” (said with the aplomb you’d usually only see if someone is passing on news of a relative dying).
“I know we don’t get on Ziggy, why are you saying this?”
“Just, you know, I want to be honest. In light of what’s coming up”
“OK, I understand.” …. “ I wouldn’t say we don’t get on – I mean – we’re not the best of friends..”

To be fair to Ziggy, he did well not to totally lose the plot here and yell “Look, I’m fucking nominating you this week alright?”

Despite Nicky’s confusion, that was blatant enough. I’m just waiting for the day when housemates go. “Right, I’m going to use the word ‘orange,’ to replace another word in this conversation. OK. I’m going to orange Carole and Tracey today, what about you?” Maybe such cunning hasn’t crossed their minds.

Back to tonight. Housemates were told to eat cheese for today’s task, in order to induce vivid dreams. Carole was grumpy from the offset at the choice of 2 vegetarian cheeses. “They’re really unimaginative when it comes to vegetarians,” she moaned. Sorry? What did she expect? The task is to eat cheese, so that’s what you’re given to eat. If she was dismayed that it was only a choice between cheese and cheese then she’s misunderstood the task. If she’s upset that the cheese itself was bland then I am equally confused, I mean, short of sculpting it into some kind of tower I don’t know what imagination could even have been put into it. I think she was just in a bad mood.

“Another day wasted,” she grumbled as the task drew to a close. I’m not entirely sure what she had planned instead; maybe she was going to enrol in a language course, or finally master the internet, or rescue an orphaned African child. Clearly she can’t have meant that this task was disrupting her from her usual routine of pottering around the Big Brother house muttering about disrespect and laziness in today’s youth?

Conversations turned to a sexual nature in the last segment of the show, as predicted by the Channel 4 announcer beforehand. Jonti and Gerry discussed him being a virgin. Initially having said that you wouldn’t meet many virgins on a day to day basis, Jonti changed his mind, saying, “Actually, you probably have met them before, they were just too embarrassed to say.” Fair point Jonti, but this is Gerry you’re talking to. The man has slept with between 2000 and 3000 people. Somehow I don’t think that in his social circle he meets many virgins.

Jonti also said something interesting when asked about his interest in spanking. Explaining how it all started, he described how when he was young and saw stuff like spanking on TV it made him “excited down there.” Sorry, exactly what TV were you watching Jonti? I’d be hard pressed to remember the last time I saw spanking on any TV show, and I was a keen watcher of late night Channel 5 pseudo-erotica throughout my teens. The others all thoughtfully agreed though, like this made perfect sense. “Yes, given all the spanking you get on TV these days it’s a wonder we aren’t all masochistic, sex-crazed animals,” Ziggy’s nod seemed to convey.

Sometimes I think I’m watching the wrong channels.

As another display of discontent with this year’s Big Brother crop, Endemol yet again deemed it necessary to spice up tonight’s show with another twist of sorts; letting this week’s nominees, Jonti, Amy and Kara-Louise watch footage of the nominations which left their fate in the hands of the public (and possibly the Channel 4 production team had they been up against Charley). Whether this twist was planned all along for this juncture of the show, or whether it was developed to try and inject some interest into these lacklustre halfway housemates is hard to say, but it was certainly an interesting viewing experience.

Amy came across brilliantly in this segment. Here I use the term brilliantly in the manner which you’d describe the resolution of an HD TV – she was presented as a self obsessed, narrow minded and deluded egomaniac (or as she so succinctly put it afterwards, as a “scheming whore”). Not very flattering, but I think very accurately and vividly.

As she snuggled between the towel-wearing Jonti and the puzzlingly coiffered Kara-Louise, we could anticipate Amy of all people would not react well to any criticism directed her way. However, she took the twins’ votes surprisingly well. “Aww, they don’t have a bad word to say about anybody, do they?” she cooed, seemingly oblivious to the fact they’d just nominated the two slightly miffed people sat either side of her. What Amy probably meant is that they didn’t say anything bad about her, which of course is what really mattered.

When the next video appeared on screen (her own nominations) her cringing and embarrassment was to be expected; after all she had nominated Kara-Louise even after the arguments her disloyalty to fellow halfway-housemates had previously caused. However, her knee-jerk reaction to this potentially awkward situation was not a pre-emptive apology or explanation, but a “look how terrible I look.” Maybe I’m being too harsh, I mean, despite being self-obsessed and vain it at least showed some modicum of accurate self-perception.

I don’t really understand why these videos upset an angered Kara and Amy so much? I mean, when they knew they were up for the public vote, they must have known people would have said negative things about them. Kara, who took it all rather badly, should have been placated by the reasons put forward for her – she was let off lightly. Most of the comments against her were due to her havign previously said she wasn’t enjoying the BB experience, and were usually preceded by, “she’s a lovely girl, but…” If anything housemates were trying to help her out. If the harsh reality of that hurt her so much, it raises the question of what she previously thought might be the reasons she was up. Short of, “she’s just so amazing that I can’t handle it,” I can’t see how the real reasons were an unpleasant shock.

Amy wasn’t the only one who annoyed me today. Gerry is continuing to grate on me. When Big Brother announced they wanted the two housemates “most knowledgeable about history” to go to The Diary Room, Gerry’s face lit of with a mixture of pride and defiance. He was almost was waiting someone to challenge his self-election so that he could reel off his credentials. If he could have arranged some sort of fanfare and procession to see him into the Diary Room I’m sure he would’ve.

During the quiz he only came across more smug and pretentious. When Jonti stole his thunder by correctly answering the first question right before he had chance to, Gerry, of course being the authority on the veracity of historical facts, twittered “yes, well done, good” and “that was easy that one” – which to a man of Gerry’s learning it of course would have been. The mocking he got from Liam et al outside after his failure in this task was well deserved.

Also annoying about Gerry was his discussion with Ziggy over their relationship. When Ziggy complained about Gerry’s criticism of him previously, Jerry responded; “Yes I did say that, then I went to the toilets and cried, and came back and apologised.” Why do housemates feel that by crying they can absolve themselves of past wrong-doings? When Amy backstabbed her halfway housemates and they met up again, she explained it all with “You didn’t see how much I cried about it afterwards.” Ignoring the fact that we the omnipresent viewer didn’t see this either, the main point is why should this explanation work as a placatory gesture? It’s lazy and manipulative, and would be expected of a child. Also, as evidenced by Amy putting Kara up again this week, such tears are usually not a sign of guilt or regret. Its just another way some housemates like to turn everything back to being about themselves, even their own wrong-doings.

One final point; Gerry said in the very same discussion that if there’s one thing in life he doesn’t like it’s hypocrites. This from the man who said, regarding Jonti; “I just find it a little odd that a grown man would talk to his cuddly toys.” Next to him on the Diary Room chair was his stuffed toy monkey, dressed up in miniature versions of the clothes he himself was wearing. He’s a clever man is Gerry.